Tomorrow, Virginians choose one of milquetoast Clintonista Terry McAuliffe or Tobacco Belt Taliban Ken Cuccinelli to succeed Bob McDonnell in the Executive Mansion. The Democrat’s lead in the polls still holds, though a low projected voter turnout suggests Cuccinelli could pull off an upset with a sufficiently large turnout of irate Teabaggers and/or plain old Republican electoral tampering. Two Obamas, two Clintons and a Biden have been campaigning on McAuliffe’s behalf, while Cuccinelli’s audiences have, deservedly, been talked at by the likes of Marco Rubio, Reince Priebus, Rick Santorum, the Duggars and Rand Paul.
Speaking of Rand Paul, expect more fun this week centering on his weakness for “borrowing” words and ideas without attribution or shame. If a few more examples of the Senator’s plagiarism turn up, he could be forced to issue a major “clarifying” statement to try and muddy the waters. If it comes to that, I hereby offer him a preliminary draft that he’s welcome to pass off as his own: “I am not a crook and I have not yet begun to fight, or to remember the Maine. It’s been the best of times, it’s been the worst of times, it’s been a date which will live in infamy, but I have nothing to fear but fear itself and I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. Now, watch this drive and read my lips: no new taxes. For the rich, anyway. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what it can do for me. So long, and thanks for all the fish, and good night and good luck, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. Oh, and would somebody please tear down this wall?”
Voters in 11 Colorado counties get a chance to weigh in tomorrow on whether they want to secede from the state. One of these rural (meaning Republican) counties would supposedly become part of Wyoming, while the other 10 would form a new state called North Colorado or Brigadoon or something.
Chris Christie is the odds-on favorite to win another gubernatorial term in New Jersey tomorrow, so certain of victory that he spent part of Saturday afternoon indulging in one of his favorite activities, publicly belittling a constituent. Christie wagged his finger in the face of teacher Melissa Tomlinson, who says he told her, “I’m tired of you people.” A Christie staffer later disputed the quote, so you just know Tomlinson described it accurately. Once safely sworn in for another term, Christie will immediately forget about New Jersey and turn his attention to a presidential run.
Boston’s mayoral election is also happening tomorrow, with last-minute polls still showing a tight race between Democrats Martin Walsh and John Connolly, and a significant number of voters still undecided. New York City, by contrast, will shock nobody by electing Bill de Blasio to succeed Michael Bloomberg; a poll released this morning shows the Democrat leading GOP opponent Joe Lhota by 41 points.
And finally on the electoral docket, Tuesday is also the day for the Republican primary runoff in Alabama’s 1st District, when voters choose between Teabagger jackass Dean Young and establishment jackass Bradley Byrne. The winner is expected to crush the Democratic opponent in December. It would no doubt be best for the nation if the earth opened up and swallowed both of these guys, but I’d prefer a Byrne victory, if only because Sharron Angle’s PAC, Our Voice, has thrown $65,000 at efforts to get Young elected.
The Senate will probably pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act this week, but even if they do, John Boehner will refuse to allow the House to consider ENDA because, A, his party dislikes gay people, and B, he claims it would kill jobs. And as we all know, jobs have been Boehner’s priority ever since he became Speaker, as evidenced by… um… uh… well, because he said so, that’s why.
After delays and missteps, a final draft of the “Volcker rule” could be unveiled this week. The measure, part of the Dodd-Frank financial reform framework, would prohibit some but not all speculative investments by banks. Once the draft is released, it needs approval from a number of regulatory agencies, including the SEC, CFTC and the Fed.
The President and family, along with two of Nelson Mandela’s daughters and the stars of the new film Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom will attend an advance screening of the movie at the White House on Thursday. If you didn’t make the guest list, you’ll have another chance when Hillary Clinton hosts a Kennedy Center gala screening on the 20th. And if you don’t get invited to that, you’ll have to wait with the rest of us for the film’s official release on the 29th.
It’s November, and that means it’s National Entrepreneurship Month, Military Family Month, National Native American Heritage Month, National Adoption Month, Critical Infrastructure Security and Resilience Month, National Family Caregivers Month, National Alzheimer’s Disease Awareness Month, and National Diabetes Month.
